He always had a reason to keep secrets. His mother forbade him to ever mention his sister or her condition, he couldn’t talk about his father, not even as much as mention his name, just in case someone knew who he was and where he ended up. But it never actually worked as intended and so people always whispered behind his back anyway; his father was a murderer who died in Azkaban, his sister was mad, his brother was an aggressive brute, Albus himself was bound to follow in his father's footsteps sooner or later, or to just crumble under the weight of the real world after finishing school. He had a lot of friends, or rather knew a lot of people who were nice to him but ultimately, most of them wanted something from him: influence, money, their homework done for them, their problems resolved with a swish of a more talented wand. And they never gave anything in return, not ever real friendship; they never wanted to get to know him. No one seemed to care about his deep fascination with the History of Magic, or how close to nature he always was, or how many different kinds of muggle sweets he managed to smuggle to Hogwarts every year, or how all of the animals at school loved him because he sneakily fed them snacks when their owners weren’t looking. People only cared about the magic that flowed through his veins and desperately wanted to get out. Some professors called him the most brilliant student in their lifetime and sure, it stroked his ego but it never stroked his begging for attention heart and soul. And then he came along.
Gellert has never, not once in his fairly short life, been to Great Britain. His parents weren't exactly the richest people on Earth - heck, who was he kidding, ever since his father died mother was struggling to make end meet, the money borrowed from her brother and the ones she got by selling her old jewellery, a sacrifice she thought was necessary, barely being enough to keep their lives on an endurable level. She had a job, good, but not great, and taking care of little Aurel was taking up most of her free time and all the energy he had left; never did she think about spending any amount of cash on sending her older kids abroad just to let them travel a bit and not bring anything valuable back. And so her eldest son was basically stuck in their homecountry, up to the day he finally wasn't.
OdpowiedzUsuńIt'd be a lie if he said he never imagined what it'd be like, to go somewhere else. Far away from his family, from his schoolmates, from his teachers, from all those who didn't understand, didn't want to understand, be it himself or his plans and dreams. He used to catch himself daydreaming about it, about finally being free, able to do whatever he wanted, whatever he found neccessary to achieve his goal, something probably every boy his age dreamt of at least once, fed up with strict rules and expectations; rarely, at first, but then, after meeting a very special someone, more and more often. Albus Dumbledore seemed very British, always polite and calm, quiet, but not too quiet, not to the point of shyness - theoretically speaking that'd be the last person Gellert would ever take interest in. But he listened, he agreed, understood in some way that Grindelwald never saw in anyone else, back then, when they talked face to face in the bowels of Durmstangs castle. And even more over the months when they send each other an owl after an owl, their silent agreement to carry out Gellert's plans - their plans now - growing stronger with each written word, with each read sentence.
And now he was in England. Godric's Hollow to be exact. And it was... different from what he imagined, in some ways, and in others - exactly how he'd expected it to be, look and feel. First of all, it was warmer than what he'd heard from those few people that actually were to Great Britain, but maybe that was just the summer's magic working. His great-aunt's house was clean and not messy at all, but he was sure the room she gave him would become that exact thing - dirty and very, very messy - in a matter of days, as Gellert never felt like cleaning up anything or putting things where they belonged. On the other hand though, it was quiet and peaceful, with only one other person around and not a lot people living in the small town. He felt safer that way.
There were places, however, that he wanted to see. First, he needed new parchment to write to Albus, finally; he stopped responding a few months prior, before dropping out of school, not really knowing why. He just didn't feel like it. The shop itself was small, with very few people inside - two young girls and an older man talking with the owner, probably not even intending on buying anything, just chatting. Grindelwald didn't even have a chance to ask for what he wanted, when the little bell on the door rang quietly and...
"Sighseeing," he spurted out, after turning around and seeing Albus himself standing there with a look of utter surprise on his face. Gellert smiled. "It's a one in a lifetime opportunity really, I'm probably not going to ever come back to Great Britain, your food is just as terrible as I've heard."
One look, only one single, short look at Albus was really all it took for Gellert to feel... like he did something wrong. Like he shouldn't have abandoned their correspondence just like that, without saying anything and then not write back for months. He knew it was the right choice, well, for himself at least - distancing himself from other people has always been one of his strongest virtues, if it could be called one - and he didn't regret it, not even once, up until today, until now. Because now he had to actually look Albus in the eye and pretend like nothing happened, like the silence on his part was nothing out of the ordinary, and it was hard, so damn hard, because his friend looked at him with such affection and something very longin-like, Grindelwald wasn't sure he could take it for longer than a few minutes. Maybe even less than that.
OdpowiedzUsuńHe was never the one to care about others, about their feelings and emotions and the way they looked at him, and what they thought of him when they did, but Albus... Albus was different, in a way he couldn't quite describe, but noticed every time they talked then, every time he read his letters. Everything about him was different, really, and it seemed like he had a very strong influence on the younger wizard - way too strong for Gellert's own liking - pulling him closer and closer like a magnet pulling a tiny piece of metal. And the metal doesn't have it in it to resist this strange force, just like Grindelwald couldn't find the strength to resist Dumbledore's smile, his presence, his sharp wit. And maybe, just maybe, that's exactly what he got scared of; being too weak to run away, hurt someone and don't give a single shit about it. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he can do it anyway.
Maybe he didn't want to say anything about the vision he had five month ago and which haunted him ever since.
"Oh, it's your town? As in, you live here?" there was a theatrical surprise in his voice and a smile on his face, a curve of his lips, slight but yet somehow mischevious. "I had no idea! Why haven't you told me?"
It was so easy, to mess with Albus, again, say things so lightly and easily - things he never thought he'd have a chance to say to anyone, because no one ever got close enough to be allowed to see this part of him. Which once more proved that the young, beautiful Englishman standing right before him was special, and Gellert felt like they've known each other for years instead of mere weeks of kisses - and so much more than kisses - and then months of wirting to each other. There was some sort of connection between them and it truly suddenly hit him, then and there, in a small shop in a smal town, that he doesn't want to lose it.
"I'm going to visit you, if you visit me," he suggested, or rather demanded, still with that sly smile. Having decided he can live without new parchment and quill - he didn't have to write to Albus anymore after all - he took Albus by the hand and walked him out of the shop and into the street. "But first, I would absolutely love it if you agreed to show me around. What do you say, my friend?"
Godric's Hollow was, just as Albus said, a pretty small and a pretty boring place - just as all the places Gellert has lived in so far - but it still somehow seemed to be very interesting in its own weird way. Yes, that was definitely the best word to describe it: interesting. The sun was shining brightly in the summer sky and the streets were quiet and serene, almost unmoving, in a way that suggested the lazy atmosphere of the city wasn't really something unusual. Grindelwald liked it, all of it; there was a breath of predictability in the place, one of those you can almost smell in the air in places where everyone knows everyone and it's just so easy to assume nothing unexpected could ever happen. A real paradise, so calm and peaceful, with its stone buildings and tall yew-trees growing next to nearly every house they were passing on their way to the church.
OdpowiedzUsuń"I take your word for it, Albus," he smirked, watching his friend from the corner of an eye. "But I do admit, it's a very pretty place too, small and charming. Wouldn't you miss it if you were to finally leave, my dear?"
He knew the answer to that question, or well, he thought he did; after all, the village he himself grew up with could be described in the exact same way and yet he didn't miss it at all. Hell, he was so glad to finally get out of there, leave everything behind and start a new life, one he's always wanted to have. Why would Albus miss it if he had the same future in mind - the future they've talked about in their letters, the future they've planned in a smallest detail?
"No, of course you wouldn't," he added, then, answering for himself, before the other boy could say anything, and smiled at him brightly. They slowed down and stopped, standing on the sidewalk, looking at each other. The church, a white building taller than all the others, was waiting for them not more than thirty feet down the street. "You won't miss it at all, won't you?" he continued, his voice dropping a bit lower, but his smile remained the same. Albus' auburn hair was long and a stray curl fell across his eyes; Gellert moved it aside, letting his fingers brush against his friend's cheek, then down his jaw and the back of his neck. "I'll make sure you won't. Yes. You will have anything your heart could desire, anything at all, Albus, because you deserve so much more than this small town and you know it. You know it, don't you?"
He meant it. Having Albus there, by his side, being able to reach out and touch him again, was making Grindelwald a bit more dizzy with happiness than he would dare to admit. And he wanted it to stay that way, to stay that way forever; he wanted, needed to have the young Dumbledore at his side. Weren't they meant to be together after all?
Albus was special, Gellert had always thought so, always, from the first moment they've met - not so long ago, on the other side of the continent, when a crowd of British students was flooding the main hall of the Durmstrang age-old building. Grindelwald was a youngster back then, a child, really (since he still wasn't really an adult at this point in time, let alone then), and he's always had a thing for the dramatic, so instead of observing the newcomers like all of his friends did, he's decided to stare in the opposite direction, as if to show the Brits how much above them all he thought himself to be. That is, until something red caught his eye and he just had to look, he had to, and he hadn't regretted it ever since, because he saw the most beautiful pale boy with the most beautiful unruly mane of ginger hair.
OdpowiedzUsuńHe knew Albus was special right from the beginning, right from that moment, when their eyes met in the main hall, and for a quick second all the noise of students talking and laughing had melted into the background, becoming nothing more than a subtle hum of the sea. And all the moments that came after have only made him even more sure, sure that this special British boy was, in fact, very special. Special in ways Gellert couldn't describe, so talented and bright, and eager to learn and discover a brand new world together with him. He was special because Grindelwald fell in love with his thoughts and heart and soul. And with his hair, even if just a bit.
And now he had his special boy here, with him, and his chest was getting more and more heavy with every word that came out of Dumbledore's mouth, and it felt like he'd burst with all the happiness that swelled inside him like a massive balloon. He couldn't contain a smile, wide and bright, and he wanted to kiss every inch of Albus' face, right then and there, in the middle of a sidewalk, in the middle of Godric's Hollow, let people see, let them stare and be jealous, because Albus was his and his only.
"Oh, you, a sinner?" he laughed, letting his hand slip from the other man's cheek and rest on his neck. For a split second Gellert was dedicated to actually pulling him in for a kiss, but then decided otherwise; his friend might not like that, not outside where anyone could see them, and no matter how much Grindelwald would want that, he also wanted to respect Dumbledore's boundaries. It was his town, he lived here and would have to deal with all the nasty rumours and gossips, which would surely soon follow. "But of course, please, do show me," he let go of Albus' neck but still held his other hand in his, not wanting to give up the simple pleasure of physical contact completely. Smiling, he let himself be led to the church's entrance and then between the wooden benches until Albus seemed to decide one of them was good enough. They sat, their legs touching.
"It is very nice in here," Gellert admitted, looking up at the ceiling covered with pictures of angels sitting or standing on fluffy clouds. The interior was modest and simple, but still beautiful, and the peaceful silence caused him to instinctively lower his voice as to not disturb anyone, even though they were the only ones there. He squeezed Dumbledore's hand a bit harder, smiled at him and leaned towards him. "I've seen the church now, so how about you show me that sinister side of yours you've bragged about, my dear?" he whispered, staring intently at Albus' lips, but otherwise not doing anything. He was very bold, he knew that, but he couldn't (didn't want to) exactly stop himself. And his friend seemed to quite enjoy that.