Gellert Grindelwald
He always felt he was meant for great things. Small family house in Hungary was never enough, three sisters and a little brother too sick to ever leave the bed were nothing but tiring, and he himself was above it all. Above everyone and everything, the brilliant boy, who was going to bring order and harmony to the world, no matter the cost. He was better and he was trying to help, to make things right, exactly the way they were supposed to be, but somehow no one wanted to understand. People looked at him and saw someone dangerous; someone who wasn't deserving of a proper education, of their attention, of their respect. He left a piece of himself in those cold walls, engraving some part of his soul into the hard stone that was going to last just as long as the world he was going to create, the reality he was going to re-shape, and left. Silently, obediently, disappearing like a sparkle right after it falls on a log and right before it starts a fire. After all, anything, anyone he ever knew was never good enough. Anyone but one.
Everyone expected Albus Dumbledore to finish Hogwarts with nothing less than Outstanding in all of his N.E.W.T.s. and Albus did not disappoint. He always liked school and now that it was over, he proved to be good enough to become basically anything he wanted. An Auror, a Healer, a professor, a worker of pretty much any department at the Ministry of Magic; it was all possible, all within his reach, and yet it all seemed so far away from what he actually wanted. He considered the Ministry but there was a problem – he didn’t agree with them on a lot of things. He had other aspirations, more ambitious than an office job, deeper than teaching, just different.
OdpowiedzUsuńHe knew there was something else he was meant for, another purpose that was more important than any ordinary career. He even knew exactly what it was, all thanks to exchanging so many letters with Gellert; it was the Deathly Hallows. They were close; he could feel it. And other people didn’t understand it, but they honestly never understood anything and Albus learned to ignore them a long time ago. He and Gellert, they could do everything they talked about when they met during the Triwizard Tournament and snuck out of the cheering for the contestants crowd to talk in private. And indeed, they just never stopped talking after that. Grindelwald knew of things that at first seemed to reach beyond Albus’ grasp on reality but soon enough, it all made total sense to him too. They could be great; they could have it all. Sometimes he felt like he was living his life underwater; everything seemed slow and muddy and he couldn’t see or hear properly, and then Gellert grabbed him and pulled him out of the water. And ever since then, Dumbledore knew what he wanted.
Of course, he never imagined that for the sake of his family, he’d be tied to Godric's Hollow for a while even after finishing school, but that didn’t make him abandon his plans. And even when his favourite pen pal stopped writing to him for a little bit, Albus remained focused. He knew enough to consider taking it all alone but now, with life in the way, and missing his friend just a little, he wasn’t sure. After all, family, or rather what he had left of it, was very important to him.
One day he was walking through the village, just thinking, and he went into one of the few stores that they had there, with the intention of buying something for his sister but he stopped mid-step as soon as he walked through the door. There he was. GellertbloodyGrindelwald, standing in the middle of this small shop in Godric’s Hollow, looking at some magical treats. For a few seconds Albus was just staring at him and taking it all in; he was still taller than him, his hair was a bit longer now, and his jawline just a little more defined but it was definitely him. And he must have felt that someone is staring at him cause he turned around and his eyes widened when he saw Dumbledore. He looked… surprised, maybe even a little disappointed, as if he didn’t realise that this is a very small town and their meeting was unavoidable.
“Gellert?” he asked quietly, confused; he wasn’t quite sure if he should be happy or mad or… “What, on Merlin’s beard, are you doing here?”
He really couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going on but, damn, he still couldn’t help but smile. Okay, maybe he was happy after all.
Albus wasn’t sure what to do. He was happy to see Gellert, happier than he’d like to admit, but at the same time, he felt like he should be kind of offended, too. After all, it was Grindelwald who stopped responding to his letters months ago, and then never reached out to him in any other way. Common sense would suggest that this type of behaviour is just a little bit dismissive towards Albus and he shouldn’t tolerate it, but suddenly he remembered the time they spent together just a few years back, and he was ready to somehow justify it all. Maybe Gellert was just really busy? Everyone got busy sometimes.
OdpowiedzUsuńIt crossed Dumbledore’s mind multiple times that he has a sort of a... crush on the younger wizard, yes, but now he was beginning to worry that it was much more than that. While they weren’t actually together, while they weren’t seeing each other, ignoring this feeling wasn’t too hard. Albus just kept himself occupied with other things, and with other people, and so it all seemed manageable. But now, now it was different. Gellert was right there and he was... captivating. The way he smiled and acted so nonchalantly, like he shouldn’t be sorry for apparently not caring about Albus as much as Albus cared about him, that was the worst part. Because it made Dumbledore suddenly feel nervous again, and he just kept remembering. Remembering how sunny and bright it was when they first kissed, and how soft Gellert’s lips were, and how soft they still looked now, and how much fun they had together. Then, during these few weeks they spent together, he felt that they really could take over the world. He realised that this feeling was addicting and he wanted it back.
“Oh yeah?” was all he could think of saying, and then he just stared at his... friend? Were they still friends? Well, he bloody hoped so. He even smiled, and laughed, but it probably didn’t sound right. He took a step forward, and then another one, and another, and somehow Gellert was already within his arm’s reach. He almost reached for his cheek.
“And you didn’t think to tell me that you’re here? In my town? I find that truly curious, Gellert, especially taking our... plans into consideration,” said Albus, raising his eyebrows slightly. Oh, he wanted to sound more serious, maybe even a bit annoyed, really, but he couldn’t. He knew that his eyes revealed it all; just how glad he was to see Grindelwald, and how relieved he was that he was okay. “Oh, you haven’t changed at all,” he sighed, but what he really meant to say was Oh, how I’ve missed you.
He really did, he missed him. He didn’t want to miss him but here they were. He could only hope that Gellert felt the same way because he honestly couldn’t tell, the guy was too hard to read.
“I hope you were at least planning to visit me cause now you’ll have to. Or else I’ll be offended.”
Okay, he wasn’t planning on making anyone visit him anywhere, but this was just an extraordinary situation and he couldn’t let that chance go. They had to at least talk some more, in private, far from the eyes and ears of Albus’ nosy neighbours. He could already feel some people staring; after all, it wasn’t a big town, and most people knew him.
Of course, everything that came out of Gellert’s mouth was so very him that Albus could only sigh deeply. He already knew that he’s going to agree to anything his friend wanted. Dumbledore probably should have had the last word this time; he deserved it after being abandoned by his beloved pen pal without any explanation... But he didn’t. Gellert, as always, managed to spin everything in a way that made it look light-hearted and innocent, as if they were just meeting by accident after organically losing contact with each other. That wasn’t really the truth, of course, but nevertheless, Albus couldn’t actually be mad anymore. It took a lot to be irritated with his friend anyway, but once he actually saw him again, how could he waste this opportunity on pouting? Grindelwald must have had his reasons, and they were probably good reasons, as to why he stopped talking to Albus for a while and they had better, greater things to do now.
OdpowiedzUsuń“Of course I’ll show you around my town. And the pleasure will be all mine,” said Albus, putting some emphasis on my, just to show Gellert that he knew that Gellert knew exactly where Albus lived. It really was quite bold of him to show up here, knowing very well that they’ll probably meet. It was a small town after all.
Soon they were already outside, standing hand in hand, and Albus wanted it to stay that way; so he just kept it that way. They were, of course, holding hands as friends. Obviously. People were going to talk anyway, they always did, but that was alright, they could and would take it. They were above all of them anyway, in all possible meanings of the word.
“Well, to be honest, there is really not that much to see here,” he said, looking at Gellert. “Besides those few shops right here, to the right, I think the most exciting building in the city is the church and little cemetery on Church Lane. I’m not sure how interesting that sounds to you but tt is worth seeing either way so... follow me, my friend.”
Albus smiled at his friend, and they very slowly started walking. The church wasn’t far away, nothing was really far away. It was still early in the day, and the sun was shining brightly, making Albus feel hot. Or well, hotter, since Gellert’s presence was already making him hot, as per usual. He was painfully reminded of how much effect Grindelwald really had on him. It was as if they knew each other for way longer than they really did, which was nice but also quite frightening, since it made him feel vulnerable in a way he didn’t necessarily enjoy. But he did enjoy Gellert. All of Gellert.
“It’s a nice but, if you ask me, boring place. The longer I live here, the more I want to get out. But you already know that,” he said with a smirk. He only meant it to be slightly suggestive, since he was sure Gellert knew exactly what he meant. They wrote about that exact thing a lot, when they were still in touch.
Albus could agree that Godric’s Hollow was a pretty little village that had its own charm. And surely there were people, wizards, and witches, who enjoyed that and wanted nothing more than to stay there forever, far from the hustle and bustle of a big city, immersed in the small town type of life. That was all okay and understandable, but it wasn’t for him. He didn’t have to wonder if he’d miss it, Gellert was right; he wouldn’t. It just wasn’t a place for him, wasn’t what he wanted at all. Actually, he desired something that was the complete opposite of the peaceful life he could have in the village. He desired a dynamic, fast, powerful existence, he imaged himself and Grindelwald in the very heart of the whole wizarding world, taking it all for themselves. The thought excited him in ways he couldn’t quite explain but he welcomed the sensation.
OdpowiedzUsuń“I won’t. I won’t miss it,” he said confidently, tilting his head a little bit to meet the palm of Gellert’s hand. His touch was light and soft as he caressed Albus’ cheek. He almost purred at the sensation. Almost. That was one of the only things he ever missed; exactly this type of touch, exactly Gellert’s touch.
He knew that it was potentially dangerous, just like their whole relationship, because right from the start, it came with the most intense emotions he’d ever felt. Sometimes, when they were together for some time, Albus wondered if their ideas were actually his, too, or if he just wanted to be with Gellert so badly that every word coming out of his mouth sounded incredibly tempting. But then they weren’t together anymore, and Albus was left with a longing for closeness and power, and he found himself dreaming about their future together, on top of the world. He never said it quite as directly, not to himself and not to anyone else, but he was, in fact, hungry for power. And he wanted Grindelwald to help him get it, to share it with him. It sounded wrong, but felt so right.
“You know what I desire, Gellert. You, us. The world within the reach of our fingertips. This place means nothing to me,” he said slowly, looking straight at his friend. It was hard to look away; his eyes were beautiful. “I’m not bound to any place on this Earth, nor will I ever be. I am bound to you, thought,” he added, smiling softly.
It was true; he never felt connected to Godric’s Hollow and enjoyed his time away from it, in particular his time at Hogwarts, way more. It just never felt right to stay in one place when there was so much more to explore out there. He wanted to see it all, to have it all. But Grindelwald, that... that was something else. Something different. There was no other person in the world who he could share all of this with, and he was painfully aware of it. The ambitions they shared were stronger than any other bond he had. Even stronger than family. And he loved his family.
“Oh, do you fancy a look inside the church?” he asked a moment later, finally looking to the side. They were close; just a few feet away from the building. “It’s nice. Quiet. But I’m not particularly religious, quite a sinner actually, I’m afraid.” He raised his eyebrows slightly, amused. The majority of people in town weren’t actually religious, either, especially because they were mostly wizards and witches, and they were known for their quite... loose beliefs on most things religion-related. The church was just an old, attractive building that was pleasant to look at, or that’s what he thought, anyway.