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4 sierpnia 2000

Mr Moony presents his compliments


R e m u s   L u p i n

When I was little, I used to ask my dad to check for monsters under my bed. And then I became one. Of course, not one of my friends would agree with that statement but that’s why they’re my friends, they like me anyway. I felt I was different ever since my father started asking me not to speak with other kids about not feeling great once a month and my mother started looking at me with pity whenever nights gradually became lit by the fuller and fuller moon. I knew they were sorry for me, and frankly, I was sorry for me, too.
I was a great student to show everyone that I could do it, but ironically couldn’t really pursue any respectable career because of my special condition. I’ve tried, but people pretty quickly start to catch on that something’s not right when you can’t work for a few days out of every month and aren’t even a woman. But ultimately, that only leaves me with more time to dedicate to standing on the right side of the brewing war. Fine, maybe I’m not exactly a monster. Maybe I just have a little bit of madness within me.

Oh, and my two favourite things are dogs and stars.

6 komentarzy:

  1. They were only twenty minutes into the meeting and Sirius was already feeling boredom hatching somewhere in his lungs, making him force down a yawn. Honestly, it wasn't exactly how he imagined it all would look like. Not at all. Because all of the meetings he had attended to so far consisted mostly, if not only, of talking - or, more specifically, sitting and listening to the reports given by older, more experienced members of the Order.
    And to be perfectly honest, that wasn't quite how Sirius would enjoy spending his free time... okay, he would storm out of here after like five minutes if he was anywhere else. But this was the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix he was in, and it was Albus Dumbledore himself who was doing the talking at the moment, so Sirius didn't really have any choice now did he. This may have been more boring than he had imagined, but that's how his life looked like right now; they had a damn mission to accomplish and a certain evil wizard to defeat after all, he could bear a little bit of boredom and resist the desire to try and balance his want on the top of his nose so that it wouldn't fall fown on the table immediately.
    And yet he couldn't supress this funny little sensation of excitement tingling in his chest when Dorcas' patronus disappeared, leaving the message and just a bit of chaos. As one could expect, Sirius was one of the first to jump to their feet, wand in his hand, absolutely ready for action, because finally, bring it on, and in James' eyes there was the same kind of excited glow when they smiled at each other above Peter's head. They have been waiting for this moment since they first stepped into this building - for a chance to prove themselves in a real battle.
    He felt energy and adrenaline rush through his whole body, stirring every single cell in their wake, when he stood beside other members, ready to disapparate on command. His eyes met with Remus' and he couldn't help but grin widely at the other man.
    "C'mon Moony, let's go kick some Death Eaters' asses," was all he had the time to say before Dumbledore gave an order and the first few people disapparated with loud crackle. Sirius had no problem with focusing on the destination, having visited the Leaky Cauldron countless times and knowing the place well enough to know his way around blindfolded.
    He felt a rush of air and a brief sensation of being nothing before he snapped back together with a familliar slight sickness to his stomach. There was really no time to think about it in the middle of a middle battlefield they found themselves on though.
    The sky was steel gray and the alley pressed between the wall of a brick building and the main entrance to the Leaky Cauldron was way too narrow for all the people in it. Sirius ducked quickly, avoiding a spell spiralling his way, and he could have sworn he felt the white light brush on his hair.
    "Fuck!" he hissed angrily to himself, then waving his wand towards his newly found opponent. "Depulso!"
    The masked Death Eater was thrown backwards with huge force, landing on the ground a few meters away and Sirius jumped to his feet again. People were screaming and spells were flying around, sparkling in the evening air, one of them exploding way too close to Black, making his head spin a little and ears ring unpleasantly, but not depriving of the ability to fight - he would claw someone's eyes out if that would be the only possibility of self-defense he would be left with - but it wasn't an easy fight. Or maybe it was him who wasn't experienced enough, but nevertheless the Death Eaters were simply outnumbering them.
    "Where the hell are the Ministy's people?! Weren't they supposed to help us with eliminating the fucking threat?!" he shouted over his shoulder, not sure exactly who was he shouting to, at the same time using the Full Body-Bind Curse on a really ugly witch who tried to drown him in a jet of water springing from the tip of her wand.

  2. Chaos filling up the dark alley felt heavy and dense, almost tangible, hanging in the air and crackling with this specific kind of electric energy associated solely with spells being casted and incantations screamed all across the place. It was omnipresent, filling up Sirius' lungs and making him want to cough it out, as if it would make the pain in his left side, right where he was hit by a rather big chunk of wall from one of the explosions, go away. This whole situation felt so weird, so surreal, because no more than five minutes earlier they have been all sitting by the table and listening to Dumbledore's calm voice, and maybe his brain was still refusing to accept the simple fact, that now there were Death Eaters pointing wands at him and he had to struggle to stay fucking alive, with just a bit of panic clenching his throat and making it a little harder to think than he would like it.
    For a fraction of a second he felt an overwhelming desire to turn into a dog, to feel the familliar weight of bone structure changing and his mind being turned into a much simpler one, to feel less suffocated, less in danger. Being a dog was almost always safer and better in every way possible, but then some strangely familliar voice screamed Avada Kedavra! and Black from his position at the other side of the alley had a chance to catch a glimpse of greasy hair and a green light crashing against the brick wall about ten feet behind Remus, and suddenly the temptation of turning into his Animagus form became about hundread times stronger, because it would be much harder to rip Snape's throat off with his bare hands than with his teeth. Not impossible, but harder. This little fucker!
    He was ready to lunge in their direction and set the damn prick on fire when white light exploded right in the middle of the battlefield, revealing a group of Aurors, and right then they looked like ancient gods coming to the rescue. Spells started flying once more, something exploded again, someone screamed in pain and Sirius was hoping with all his will for it to be one of the Death Eaters and not his friends. He didn't see them, he didn't know where they were, and damn him if it wasn't the worst feeling he could imagine at the moment - being left alone, unsure whether or not he will see them alive again. He was fighting, he was suppresing the urge to shout out James' name or rush to look for Moony or at least shoot a glance to look for little Pete, because Wormtail wasn't really prepared for all of this, but it turned out that neither of them was. They had to be alright. They just had to. It's just a fight, the first of many to come, right? Nothing bad could happen.
    And well, yeah, Remus didn't really look all that bad when he somehow landed on his butt in front of Sirius, apparently thrown back by the strength of one of the spells he managed to block. Black tried not to make his sigh of relief too obvious.
    "Up you go, Moons, I don't want to scrape you off the wall," he pulled his friend up, helping him to get back on his feet. He had to use a Shield Charm somewhere along the way to avoid being blown up, but the good news was the Aurors turned out to be really helpful and soon the fight simply died out. Death Eaters began disapparating on the trot the exact moment they really started losing, leaving their unconscious comrades on the ground, and soon silence fell in the alley, unnatural after so much screaming and crashes. Sirius felt a shiver run down his spine and the adrenaline slowly wearing off, leaving him tired and sore.

    1. "Alright," he huffed to himself, rubbing his side, which still stinging a little with pain. He shot a glance towards Remus and smiled as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "You okay? Shame this little bitch ran off back to his lair, we would have shown him how to cast the Unforgivable properly. Twat."
      His eyes laid on James helping Lily to stand up; she seemed to be limping a little, but it didn't really seem like something serious. Peter was nowhere to be seen, probably helping with the wounded or doing something inside. It was almost calmful, as if the fight and the screams were just a bad dream which ended when someone turned on the light, waking Sirius up.

  3. Sirius frowned a little, watching Albus Dumbledore's back striding away from them and at the same time struggling to recall seeing the Hogwarts' headmaster fighting along with them. It was hard to remember, though, with all of these witches and wizards trying to stay alive by killing or at least disarming others, with one of his best friends being almost killed by the same guy they were making fun of just a few years earlier... he gritted his teeth at the memory, his blood starting to boil again. Next time he'll see the damn little flea he will break this huge nose of his before giving him a one-way ticket to the afterlife, just to make sure other ghosts will make fun of him too.
    It was the feeling of Remus' hand on his shoulder, warm even through the layers of fabric, that brought him back to the reality. Black smiled again, meeting his gaze, and waved his free hand dismissively.
    "What, this? It's just a scratch, will heal fast on its own," he laughed and, as if trying to prove his point, patted his side. Sparks of pain that the movement and pressure sent flying through the left side of his chest weren't really all that nasty, but still quite unpleasant, making him wince minutely, still with a smile he had hoped looked at least half as soothing and carefree as it should. "See? I'm fine. Nothing to worry about here."
    He paused, glancing at the main entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. Frank Longbottom was helping Pete get one of their wounded inside.
    "But you could go give that sweet smile to someone else. I bet Dorcas would be delighted to see it, especially after you've basically saved her life," he couldn't help but waggled his brows at Moony. It's not that he didn't enjoy seeing it. He did. Gods, he did for the past five years or so, and Remus' smile had seemed to be just so rare an occurrence these days, and honestly, Sirius didn't want to share it with anyone. But as much as he would like to come back home and curl up on the couch with a mug of hot coffee, well, they were still out in the field and leaving others without the help of every pair of hands possible just wouldn't suffice.
    And there was always the fact that Sirius Black was, well, Sirius Black. And he wouldn't miss any chance of teasing his friends, no matter the current situation.
    Now that the Aurors have left, the members of the Order were actually left with little to no choice; they could have took their wounded back to the headquarters and help them there or healed them right here and now and then send them home, with no dragging them all over the city and making them apparate and disapparate. The decision itself seemed quite clear.
    And even though, Sirius found himself strangely reluctant when it came to entering the pub. He should, he knew damn well he should, his friends were there, one of them wounded, and this loyal, caring part of him tried really hard to rush him inside. But the other part was still trembling a little, unsure as to in what condition he will find people he had known for years- God, he didn't even know if all of them were alive! And he was simply scared to go and see himself.
    They have all been prepared for the duel part of the battle, for casting spells and curses and trying their best not to get killed. Some were prepared better, some... well, not so good, but still they knew what to do. And this- this was something no one ever told them about. What should you do after, when the dust falls down and all you are left with are your wounded comrades and thoughts racing like crazy in your own head?

  4. They have lost two people. Two of them will not come home this night.
    Sirius' breath hitched in his throat and he could have sworn his heart just skipped a beat or two. There was something heavy in his chest when he stared at Dorcas, talking, gesticulating, alive, and suddenly all this situation felt so unreal again. He had to swallow thickly around the bump forming in his throat, afraid his voice will tremble and break right in the middle of the sentence.
    "Sure. It's not like we're going to get scared by a little blood and run away, right?" he shrugged and smiled anyway, as if nothing was wrong at all, and besides smiling was his default setting for difficult situations. And this definitely was a difficult situation. People were hurt, people were in need of help and people were dead because they couldn't save them. Because they came too late or weren't just qualified enough or... anything really, it didn't matter now, there was no way to change it.
    The Leaky Cauldron looked and felt even worse than the battlefield itself, and Sirius didn't really thought it was possible until he inhaled the heavy smell of alcohol, sweat, dust and something that could have only been the stench of death, and right then and there he realised how lucky he was to actually be alive. He was going to be okay and none of his friends have been struck with a green light, and really, he should be so happy just because they have survived, but somehow he couldn't find any happiness lurking inside him. Just fatigue with some grim thoughts attached to it. And honestly, he was grateful for the chance to get out of the demolished interior to help Frank get the rest of the members of the Order inside. It was easier than staying with the suffering and those in pain; easier to focus on the task and stop thinking about everything that has happened or could have happened, and besides, Remus was right, he was good at healing spells, better than Sirius, but then again, wasn't it a norm since their first lesson in Hogwarts? Moony has always been the best when it came to magic, or at least learning magic, and being the part of the Order, helping others and fighting the evil suited him so much Black couldn't help but wondered sometimes how someone this kind can actually exist, let alone be friends with the rest of their crazy pack.
    They have lost two people, and Sirius didn't even know who they were, too afraid to ask. His friends were still alive and, as selfish as it could sound, it was all that mattered to him at the moment. He was smiling when someone called him to help with one of the wounded, a young witch, younger than himself probably, with a very nasty leg injury, then to Edgar Bones with his almost-healed splinched forearm; apparently he tried to disapparate to avoid one explosion or another, but not everything went according to the plan. It wasn't a nice view, but at least they weren't dying. None of them was and soon it turned out no more help was needed. The wounds have been healed and the Leaky Cauldron was starting to look more like its usual self again, thanks to some clever spells. Black sighed with relief, approaching his best friend, seated on one of the tables.
    "Here are everyone's favourite lovebirds," he patted James on the back and gave Lily a nearly flirtatious smile. "Everything alright here with you, guys? Evans, you look stunning with this black eye, seriously, right now? I would date you."
    He earned hismelf a stern look and a laugh when she pushed him on the shoulder.

    1. "We're fine, Mr Funny, why don't you go check up on Remus before he works himself to death? You boys should go home already and rest," was it just him, or did the last sentence was adressed to James, too?
      "Fine, fine, no need to use violence. I'll leave you two to yourselves then, take care," one more pat on James' shoulder and Sirius left. Peter was nowhere to be seen - again - but at least he knew the kid was alive and well. And he spotted Remus in the back of the room.
      "Hey, roommate, isn't it about time we went home?" was basically all he had to say, because they both were tired, sore and dirty, and he was damn sure there wasn't much else they could do staying in the pub, or whatever was left of him, in this condition.